What to do and What Not to do After Masturbation, Health Tips

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7 Practical Steps on How to Stop Masturbating

If you are still reading this, I assume you are committed to stopping masturbating and are now wondering what the best way to do it is.

Here are seven useful strategies that will help you kick the habit once and for all: 

1. Understand why you masturbate

Ask yourself this question: “What do I get out of masturbation?” 

Yes, obviously it makes you feel good but try going deeper than that. Most people use it as a convenient shortcut to feeling good in the face of negative emotions.

If that’s you, then your first step is to become aware of what emotions you are trying to escape from and what emotional gaps you are trying to fill.

You may realize that masturbation became an easy way out every time you face rejection, stress, or boredom. It does relieve those emotions temporarily, but it will not make you feel better in the long-run. 

That realization alone could motivate you to take a long, hard look at yourself and fix your problems at a root level.

2. Know your masturbation triggers

Your urges to masturbate are not random.

They happen as a response to particular things or events in your environment. 

It could be that you slide down the slippery slope of masturbation every evening when you mindlessly scroll through your social media and accidentally see a half-naked body. Or the “temptation” arises every time you take a long hot bath to unwind after a hard day’s work. 

To identify the pattern of your triggers, you will need to become more aware of your habits and activities and start mentally noting them throughout the day.

Keep your phone away from your bed before sleeping if that was your trigger, or start taking quick showers instead of long baths if you are likely to get aroused.

The ability to notice your urges as they arise will allow you to take control over your attention and proactively re-channel your energy into more productive alternatives before it’s too late.

3. Find an accountability partner

Accountability is the most potent tool in your anti-masturbation toolbox. When you start having thoughts of masturbating, you can call your accountability partner and have them talk you out of it. 

Opening up to someone else will help you overcome the negative feelings of guilt and shame often associated with this unwanted behavior.

When you get your real relationship needs met, you no longer have to drown yourself in the overstimulating fantasy world. You can talk about your feelings, and release their energy by expressing them to your accountability partner. 

4. Download a porn blocker for your laptop and phone

Get a porn blocker on both your laptop and your phone and let your accountability partner or someone you trust set up your password. 

The internet’s pervasiveness makes quitting masturbation an extra challenging task. That’s because you are often only a few clicks away from your favorite porn site. 

Noah Church, author and counselor for porn and masturbation fairly stated, “Recovery from pornography addiction in this technological age is like recovering from alcoholism with a flask of liquor always in your pocket.”

By removing any access to porn, you are shutting the doors to a supply that fuels your addiction.

Setting up your environment the right way makes it easier not to rely on your willpower’s limited resources and makes it much more likely for you to succeed.

6. Start actively improving your life

As Socrates once said, “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”

When you stop masturbating, a large chunk of your time and energy will be freed up. Use that energy to do something that can better your life, such as building the right habits to replace masturbation.  

Remember that there might be many possible reasons why you masturbate. It could be emotional management, energy management, entertainment, loneliness, and so on. What if you could take each one of those needs and find a real sustainable solution for all of them? 

For stress management, you can exercise. If you feel lonely, you can go out and socialize or put all that extra energy into grooming yourself and finding a new date. 

So what are you waiting for? Be intentional, and be proactive!

Once you stop taking the path of least resistance to satisfy your needs, you’ll be more motivated to find sustainable solutions to build a better life and a stronger you.

7. Negotiate with your compulsive masturbation urges

The urge to masturbate can sometimes be so relentless that its sensation can hijack your inner dialogue. It rationalizes excuses and tells you things like, “Come on, it’ll feel great, just one time,” “You’ll start tomorrow,” ”Everyone does it,” “It’s not that big of a deal,” and the more you resist it the more it persists.  

It’s true that masturbation will feel good in the moment; however, you need to remember that this urge doesn’t tell you the whole story. 

Many people react to their cravings unconsciously. In the moment of temptation, you end up forgetting the long term pain this compulsive behavior causes you. 

Instead of listening to your urges, try remembering that your emotions are not a reliable representation of reality. Expect false rationalizations to come along the way, and pay close attention to what your mind tells you in these moments of weakness. 

Instead of instantly acting on your emotions, take stock of your excuses and prepare a list of responses ahead of time. 

For example, when you say, ”Everyone does it.” Think to yourself, “That doesn’t mean that it’s a good idea. That’s just some unfounded excuse that my mind is telling me.”

Or when your inner dialog says, “Just start tomorrow.” Be skeptical and wonder, “Why tomorrow? This can go on for a month if I let it get to my head, I will not procrastinate or make up excuses.”

This will allow you to consciously evaluate if the action you are about to take is actually in your best interest.

Warnings

  • Remember that members of the clergy and medical professionals are human and susceptible to error, too. If you ask someone for help and he or she suggests a remedy you find highly uncomfortable, seek a second opinion.

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  • Some video games, films, and even books contain sexual material, such as sexually attractive characters or sexual activity (kissing, making out or even making love). So if you play video games to distract the need, be careful! Research about films and books beforehand and don’t watch/ read them if they contain sexual content.

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