How to Finger Someone and How to Give a Handjob

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5. Be all ears

And on that point… As things heat up, it’s important to tune in to your partner’s bodily response, the directions they give you and any sounds they make. If you switch up the rhythm or direction of your touch and things get quiet, course correct. If your partner moans, gasps, their breathing gets heavier or they let you know that they like what you’re doing, it’s safe to say you’re on the right track.

When it turns hot and heavy, move closer to your partner and allow yourself to get lost in their movements, pleasure and breathing. It’s never not important to be attentive to your sexual partner’s body language, but it’s tantamount for fingering. There is no advice that will serve you better than listening to your partner’s wants and needs, so make sure you take note.

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Do you need to penetrate when you finger someone?‍

Good fingering doesn’t need to include penetration. Many people find it easier to orgasm from external stimulation. But internal stimulation can also provide a great deal of pleasure if it’s something you and your partner would like to try. 

Once you get the go-ahead from your partner, continue the slow pace. Start with just one or two fingers and move very slowly, checking in as you go. If you’re interested in exploring G-spot stimulation, slide your fingers along the anterior wall of the vagina (up towards the belly) until you’re an inch or two deep and you feel a slightly different texture. Remember, everybody is different and there’s no way to find the right spot without talking to your partner and asking what feels good. 

What you’re actually stimulating is the urethral sponge, an area of the CUV complex that is often the last to swell with arousal — so it’s best to wait until your partner is really turned on before trying this. 

You’ve probably heard the advice to use a “come hither” motion with your fingers. And while that might get you in the right neighborhood, make sure you avoid using the tips of your fingers or fingernails, since they tend to poke and fingernails can cause damage. Instead, focus on using the pads of your fingers to either press upward in a rhythmic way or move in little circles. Again, check-in about what’s most pleasurable. 

What is the clitoris?

The clitoris is a central pleasure point for women. It is what is being stimulated in the act of fingering (which means you need to know about it if you want to learn how to finger her just right). Some people like to call the clitoris “the female penis”, in part because its sole purpose is to make her feel good.

Is female fingering common?

Yes, women finger themselves when masturbating. But fingering is also common between partners because it protects you and your partner from sexually transmitted diseases (or STIs), which are possible to contract or pass on from intercourse. Whatever works for your partner in bed is what you should focus on, and that includes learning how to finger her with care!

3. Work from the outside in

This is arguably the single best piece of advice on how to finger someone or how to give a handjob that's pleasurable: "The biggest mistake people make during hand sex is going right for the money spot," says Sloane. Instead of immediately stroking your partner's shaft, making circles on their clit, or thrusting into them, spend some time teasing their outer and inner thighs, belly, pubic mound, and labia. This will ramp up anticipation and build arousal. "Before you know it, they'll be begging you to grab hold or dive in," says Searah Deysach, a long-time sex educator and owner of Early to Bed, a pleasure-product company in Chicago that ships world-wide.

If you get the green light, you might also touch their perineum—the skin between the bum hole and genitals. "This patch of tissue generally responds well to being stroked because it's nerve-dense," says Sloane. And for people with prostates, it indirectly stimulates the prostate. (Related: 8 Male Erogenous Zones You're Probably Ignoring During Sex)

"Many penis-havers also find that getting the testicles in on the action can be a great bonus of using your hands," adds Deysach.

How To Finger A Girl: The Deep Spot Stimulation

A lot of guys don’t even know that deep spot exists, but it’s real, and if you can properly stimulate it, it can lead to extremely powerful orgasms.

How To Locate The Deep Spot

Her deep spot (sometimes also called the A-spot) is located pretty deep in her vagina. Basically, you slide your fingers in and locate her G-spot. After that, you keep going deeper into the vagina following the front wall until you feel a smooth surface.

That’s her deep spot.

Here’s a pic to help you out.

Because this area is so deep in her vagina, your g

Because this area is so deep in her vagina, your girl has probably never had her deep spot stimulated. (unless you have an 8-inch cock) And, unless she is using (again, an 8-inch) dildo, she’s also unlikely to be able to finger the deep spot by herself.

That means that because these sensations are new to her, you can (usually) make her squirt within 10 minutes.

How To Stimulate The Deep Spot

Once you find the deep spot, start applying pressure on it. Start off with gentle stroking, but then increase pressure until she experiences discomfort.

I suggest you start off with one finger and then after she has “warmed up” a little, slide another finger in.

I found that making circular motions with your fingers works best. You can do them clockwise or counterclockwise, but I think that it’s best to mix and match – you want to keep her guessing.

Another cool technique you can use is to focus on one tiny area of the deep spot and just finger that spot relentlessly. Since your area of movement is pretty limited, your fingering speed is a crucial factor here – this is not the time to go slow and steady.

A word of warning. The deep spot fingering technique is the most likely time when your hand will begin cramping. (probably at the same time she’s most turned on, too)

The key to preventing this is to assume a comfortable position from the very start – one where your working hand is in a natural position.

Applying just this one tip will allow you to finger her for 10…20…even 30 minutes without stopping. It greatly improves your chances of managing to finger her long enough for her to achieve an orgasm.

Now, what position you choose depends entirely on your situation. Are you both lying down in bed? Is she on a sofa? Are you two standing up? Etc.

One last thing. (and this goes both for the G-spot  and the deep spot)

Because these so-called “pleasure spots” are located near her urethra, she might have a sudden urge to pee when you finger her long enough. She might not even tell you that – she will just stop you and tell you to wait a second.

Ask her: “do you feel you’re going to pee? You’re not…trust me.” And then continue with the fingering. That’ll show her that you know what you’re doing and that you are in complete control.

All in all, the deep spot is something that most guys are not aware of and, if you apply the tips above and finger her properly, you can bring her pleasure she never even imagined.

Fingering Technique: The Basics

Preparing Your Fingers

Preparing Your Fingers

It may sound obvious, but it’s important that your fingers are properly groomed before you use them to finger her. Most of all this means trimmed, neat fingernails that are not sharp in any way.

Of course, her pussy is an extremely sensitive place with more nerve endings than any other part of her body, so if you scratch her then it’s pretty much going to be GAME OVER.

Trim your fingernails, keep them clean, and avoid having any cuts or lesions on your fingers.

Should You Use Lube?

Whether you use synthetic lube or not is up to you. Some women can become extremely wet very easily. In which case it’s fine to start using your fingers.

Others may not get wet so easily, in which case you may need to make her hornier first. Or if she is definitely turned on already you can use some saliva or a synthetic lube.

Grapeseed oil also works well for a lube.

You can use some of her own pussy juices before inserting a finger and suck on your finger first to make sure it’s perfectly lubricated.

The point here is that friction, caused by dryness

The point here is that friction, caused by dryness, will kill your chances of her having an orgasm because it will hurt more than it feels good. So, whatever you do make sure she’s nicely lubricated before fingering her.

Pro tip: If you want your partner to squirt, then lube is even more crucial. Learn more about the best lubes for squirting before you get started.

Getting Her Pussy Dripping Wet

There’s one way to make her pussy drip so much that she practically begs you to finger her.

Sexual Teasing!!

Giving her a taste of what she wants and then taking it away.

The art of sexual teasing is the quickest and most effective way to get her dripping wet and begging to be penetrated.

Let me give you one specific technique right now, and then you can find out about the other advanced ways to make her crazy horny and ready for sex inside our video training program.

Your ideas

Do you have a technique or experience you can share? Or do you have any questions or thoughts about the ideas in the article?

Feel free to leave a comment below!

Fingering techniques

So what should you actually be doing down there? There are three main stages:

1. Foreplay

Women generally enjoy a good amount of foreplay. Although you can use genital touching as foreplay, it’s better to start elsewhere.

Take time exploring each other through your clothes, slowly peeling off each layer as the passion increases.

Kissing, stroking, and nipple sucking are all great ways to get her aroused. Draw it out, spend time teasing her, and make her wonder what’s coming next.

And when you’re ready to move lower, the important thing to remember is gentleness. Gentle stroking the whole area is enough to start with.

Don’t worry about the clitoris to start with, don’t worry about rhythm or anything else. Just touch her and get used to the way she feels.

Stroke around the opening, but don’t enter her. Tease her a little bit, getting close to the clitoris without actually touching it.

Once you feel her starting to swell under your fingers, or she starts producing lubrication, or she asks for more, it’s time to move on to the next stage.

2. Build Up

Now you’re going to start focusing more on the clitoris. With the middle finger on your dominant hand begin circling around the clitoris, but not touching it.

Use the smooth pad of your fingertip. Get closer and closer to the clitoris with each circle until you’re rubbing over it.

If she responds to clitoris touching you can move on; if she doesn’t, go back to circling around it and try again.

Once you can touch the clitoris without it being too sensitive, make sure your finger is well lubricated. You can dip inside her vagina if she’s self-lubricating.

You can then rub the clitoris. There are two main approaches here: up and down or in circles. Different women like different things, so try both and see which she likes best. Start slowly.

Once you’ve found a movement she loved, maintain a consistent and steady rhythm.

As she begins to moan or otherwise let you know that she’s into it, you might want to go a little faster and exert a little more pressure.

3. Climax

When she’s fully aroused and starting the journey to climax, it’s important that you don’t stop what you are doing. The time for teasing and creative experimentation is over.

Keep the same pattern, rhythm, speed, and pressure – unless she asks for more. But you can use a tiny bit more pressure if she’s very close.

Once she begins to climax just keep going. If you find this difficult (perhaps because she’s moving around too much), then keep still but put pressure on the clitoris.

As her orgasm fades, you should lighten the pressure and slow down any stroking to a stop.

Get prepared

Wash your hands before touching her bare skin. You don’t want to run the risk of spreading germs to her body. It’s also important to have short, filed nails. Sharp nails or jagged hangnails can really ruin the mood.

It’s also good to have an idea of what you’re going to be touching. The term for the exterior portion of her genitals is the vulva. Women have two sets of labia ” the outer labia and inner labia. The outer ones have hair on them (unless she’s removed it), and the inner ones don’t. Her inner labia join near the top of her vulva. The clitoris should be located around there ” it’s a small nub of skin that can range in size. Some clits are large and protruding, while others are small and hidden under a small flap of skin called the hood. Further down, you’ll find the entrance to her vagina.

Summary

There is an art to giving a woman the best fingering of her life. This requires that you understand the physical and emotional landscape of female arousal. Are you ready to learn more? Then check out Squirting Triggers 2.0 to learn how to bring any woman to an intense, mind-blowing, squirting orgasm every time.

Secret new technique I discovered to give any woman the best orgasm of her life – Click below to start watching the new video:

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