Content of the material
- Join a Class or Club
- 14. Focus On The Bright Side Of Things
- What do users think and feel?
- Learn how to disarm a jerk
- Talk to Strangers
- 7. Praise Peoples Strengths
- Tact trumps temper
- 2. Accept Your Differences
- Accept others as they are
- Realize that it is just his opinion
- 4. Refocus
- 2. Reinforce Your Relationship
- 4. Make Progress
Join a Class or Club
Whether it’s an art class, exercise class, or book club, joining a class or a club automatically exposes you to a group of people who share at least one of your interests. Check your local library or community college as well as city parks and recreation departments to see what's available.
Joining a class or club can also provide a sense of belonging that comes with being part of a group. This can stimulate creativity, give you something to look forward to during the day, and help stave off loneliness.
14. Focus On The Bright Side Of Things
Negativity is contagious and can spread quickly; refuse to be that person who transmits negativity through your family, friends, and coworkers by complaining all the time. Instead, be that person who can look at the bright side of a difficult situation and keep tough times in perspective. This doesn’t mean to be unrealistic and overly-positive, it means to be that person who can look adversity in the face and focus on what you can control.Advertising
What do users think and feel?
People who use others for their selfish gain have only one thought in mind; “How do I benefit from people by giving them as little as possible in return?”
They may, of course, not actually think this exact phrase or verbalize it out loud because that would mean that they’re narcissists, but their subconscious behavioral patterns nonetheless drive them to get what they want with minimum effort.
This way, they always make sure that they themselves are content first and that others may or may not get their turn to be happy after. If they don’t feel like helping people or returning the favor right away, egocentric people usually come up with some kind of excuse and take a raincheck.
They say that they’ll make it up to the people they’re bailing out on in the future and quickly put their focus on themselves again.
In summary, people who use others may not be aware of the fact that they’re being unfair and that they’re draining people of life. They normally get so caught up in their own lives that they think they’re repaying the people who love them in other ways.
In ways that have nothing to do with the relationships.
Learn how to disarm a jerk
If someone is constantly needling you and focusing on your flaws, you can equalize the power dynamic by applying pressure on them to reduce their difficult behavior. Don’t react defensively when someone is scrutinizing or being aggressive with you. This will only give them more power. Instead, flip the script and put the spotlight on them. The best way to neutralize their influence is to start asking constructive and probing questions.
If they are trying to negate or belittle your work, ask them for specific criticism. Ask if they have clearly communicated their expectations. If they are being disrespectful or bullying, call them on it. Let them know you expect to be treated with a level of civility, and in turn you must treat them the same way.
Talk to Strangers
An easy way to find connections in everyday life is by interacting in small ways with acquaintances or strangers you encounter. In fact, research shows that doing so contributes to our social and emotional well-being. So next time you grab a cup of coffee or see your neighbor on a walk, strike up a conversation. You might just find you feel happier afterward.
Do you have a smartphone that you frequently check while out and about? Think about putting it away a bit more. Whether you're looking up directions or checking the news while waiting in line, research suggests that technology can get in the way of social opportunities.
7. Praise Peoples Strengths
One way to bring the best out of someone is to praise their strengths. Could you imagine how you would respond if someone came up to you and said, “Just so you know, your ability to [insert strength] is incredible. I wish I was more like that.”? Giving praise to someone else is a sign of confidence on your part, and a tremendous confidence builder for the other person.
Tact trumps temper
Choose tact over temper Learn to cultivate a diplomatic poker face — this is key in learning to treat all people with civility and politeness. It doesn’t mean you have to agree with someone you dislike or go along with what they say. You just need to maintain a consistent level of decorum when interacting with them.
Be soft on the person, but firm on the issue. This means that you focus on the issues that need to be corrected rather than attack someone personally. If you learn to do this consistently, you will always come across as professional and positive, which will give you the upper hand in all situations.
2. Accept Your Differences
Maybe the people you ask says there’s nothing they can identify that would rub others the wrong way. If that’s the case, the next step is to accept that not everyone will like you—and that’s OK.
Your job is not to convince them why they should. Yes, you need to be courteous, but don’t stop being true to who you are.
It’s helpful to remember that people have favorites inside and outside the workplace, I bet you experience it, too: There are probably some people that you click with and others you don’t. While it may seem personal, it’s just human nature, and remembering that can make it sting less.
If it’s still getting to me, I also like to remember that no one’s perfect and embracing imperfections is what make us unique.
Accept others as they are
To accept is to stop fighting what irritates you. It is to understand that that person doesn’t have to behave or express herself as you would. Or that her values and rules don’t have to be yours. Or that she doesn’t have to change for you to change.
You may think that you have a right to be offended by someone’s behavior, but that is only because you believe that things have to be done as you would do them. And no, it’s not.
So let it be how you want to be and decide how you want to be and feel YOU when you’re around.
Further Reading: How to Deal with Toxic Family Members
Realize that it is just his opinion
If another says something that doesn’t mean that he is right. No matter what someone says about you, that is just his opinion. Not the truth. That person has a right to say that, just as you have the right to remind him that he can say that, and you can say something different.
And if someone doesn’t answer to a WhatsApp that not mean you’re boring. The same as if someone makes a criticism does not mean that he is right.
So never again blame yourself for what has happened, to think that you deserve it or that it is because you did something wrong.
Dealing with such a negative person can be draining, so refocus your energy on the people who believe in you. You’re in your job for a reason—because you can do it, and the people who hired you know that!
What others think of your qualifications is not relevant.
Believe it or not, I often refocus by pretending that I’m on stage in front of a large audience. Lights, camera, action and everyone is watching. It doesn’t matter what happened backstage, in the dressing room, or at last night’s show. What matters most is my performance right here in this moment. That image helps me shake off any negativity and get back to business.
2. Reinforce Your Relationship
Listening opens the door for us. Once the person trusts us, we can begin to establish and redefine the relationship. When you speak positive and encouraging things into their life, they will begin to receive it.
Tell that person how much you admire or enjoy them. Be specific through your communication. You can talk about talent, a recent accomplishment, or something that has gone unnoticed. The most impactful thing you can do is compliment something about their character.
We often think bad about ourselves. When we speak life into someone that’s irrelevant to their output, but to who they are as a person, they will appreciate it and remember it forever.
An effective way to reinforce your relationship is when you happen to be in the other person’s environment or arena. Some of the best interviews are done when the guest makes sure to praise the host by referencing their book or a piece of work they did in the past throughout the context of the interview. They often get invited back and the host has a positive impression (even if they completely disagree on the subject). When we honor difficult people in places that they value the most, we show appreciation and respect.
4. Make Progress
Not every relationship can be repaired or reach optimal health, but we can do our best to make it functional and respectful. When we switch our goal from avoiding someone to making progress, we are more likely to see positive results.
This does not mean we should take on toxic or harmful relationships, but it does mean we should consider making progress with the people that are in our lives and tough to be around with.
When we follow these steps, we soon find common ground. We’ve learned from them and have developed an authentic relationship. This progress gives us room to establish healthy growth, respectful boundaries, and a better experience.